Falling down is not defeat

Once I went through these words - "Falling down is not defeat. Defeat is when you refuse to get up." So very true and so nicely observed. Yes, life is all about falling down and getting up. Again and again and again. But really we have the power and choice to get up again and to shout with courage and conviction - "I'm always bigger and better than you." Brings me to one of the best movies I've ever seen. Yes, it's Rocky Balboa. In a heart touching moment, Rocky teaches his son the meaning of life -

"The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very rough, mean place, and no matter how tough you think you are, it will always bring you to your knees, and keep you there, permanently, if you let it. You or nobody ain't never gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit, it's about how hard you get hit and keep moving forward, how much can you take and keep moving forward. If you know what you're worth, go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit."

Yes, anything can happen to us. Curves throwing is nature's part. But we can do our part to respond in the way we want. Choice is up to us. To repent or to do our part to make things better.

Secret of Greatness

What do you mean by greatness? To me it's simple. Greatness is being great at whatever you focus on and to choose the right work at the right time. It's not that to be great you have to acquire a position or title or you have to be a leader or to show off something. No friends. Greatness is not about public persona. It's all about what you do in your private moments. How hard you play your game when no one's watching? How do you stand up for your cause and flawlessly execute your daily deliverable? How do you overcome your fears and stand up for what should be done? Yes, most of the time greatness appears when you put off your social bias and announce a war against your limiting beliefs. Yes, greatness appears when you face rejections after rejections, challenge after challenge, set-backs after set-backs and yet you refuse to be knocked down. Yes, greatness is not a free-lunch. Greatness is hard. Brings me to sage observation of George Bernard Shaw -"Forget about likes and dislikes. They are of no consequence. Just do what must be done. This may not be happiness but it is greatness." So nicely articulated.

3A's and human cravings

We, human-beings are being given an invisible sign and the sign shouts everyday from within - Make me feel cherished. Make me feel special. Human-beings will be motionless without emotion, that we all know. But, emotion is far more than that. It not only encourages us to move, but while moving, it helps us to make progress. And behind that emotion, there are 3A's which every human-being craves for. These A's are -

Attention;

Affection;

Appreciation.

We all need these 3A's to live, to do something, to act out our full potential, or to build or upgrade our relationships. And if, we understand this concept well, really we can revolutionize our life and put ourselves in a new boulevard of opportunities. As, understanding of this concept is a must for effective persuasion, communication, upgrading relations and above all for empathizing people, it will make you a better person and a better thinker.

So, wow people. Give attention to them. Appreciate their good work. Show affection. Allow them to believe that you care. And then let me know. I promise you that you will never be the same again. Till that live consciously.

Direction defines destination

Imagine yourself on the driver seat in your dream car. You've been asked to go anywhere you want and you have complete freedom to move ahead in any direction and to any extent. What will you do? You will cling the steering and press your accelerator speedily, hastily to move ahead towards your destination.

Yes, you are right. The above situation brings me to my favourite place "life". Like the cited example above, you are really capable to be on the driver seat in your dream life if you so choose and then you must have every reason and freedom to move ahead in the direction you opt. I know our destination cannot be changed overnight. Really, we cannot park our car beside the gate of our dream life just overnight. But what we can do is to hold the steering now and change the direction of our car towards our dream life. So, what you are thinking now? Change your direction. It's really a matter of a second. Yes, it will not assure you success overnight, but it definitely pushes you towards your success. So, shine today.

Greatest learning of my life

Today, I've learned a lesson. A big lesson. The lesson has taught me the way world works. And through that contemplation, I've found out my inside world waiting to unfold to the truths of life. I want to share those emotions with you. That's why, I'm here. But, before continuing, I want to thank God for making me realize the fact, the great learning of my life.
I was a very simple, ordinary guy as common as every human-being. I was little bit shy, timid and affable. And, I was too generous to people that I spent my full time to help them, but in return, I got nothing. I kept asking God - "Why is that?" Each day I spent introspecting and pondering over the unknown - “Why is that?" And life continues at its own pace. I spent years thinking over that particular question and now I'm at present. Today, in the morning I've asked myself the same question again - "Why is that?" But today is a different day. As we know that everyday is empty. We make the day full by our thinking and acting and responding. I don't know why, but today I've got the answer of my question, my mysterious and no-hope question. While flipping through some books I've found out the answer. The answer is not being given easily, as we can't unfold our heart easily to everything, specially, when it's all about taking responsibility. Whatever, my hard work of deep introspection has given me the light, a big flash. And a serene and tranquil sensation has passed through my heart - “This is the reason!!! This is...ohh God, thank you.....uhh...thanks a lot." And then I articulated the reasons -

1) I was too eager to get recognition, appreciation and support from other people. And I wanted something in return. That's why I wanted to help them. But I got hurt for not fulfilling my expectation. The world doesn't care about my cravings. It works in its own way. So when without a reason (not for self), I can serve people, then that will only be called service, whatever one may pronounce. Actually, I turn the result into cause, thus the real cause remains blurred.
At this moment, I recall the sage observation of Mother Teresa –

“People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self centered;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, People may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, at it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've anyway.
You see, in the final analysis it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.”

2) I’ve experienced that always there are same situations coming again and again to push my limits, to give me pains and to stretch me beyond my comfort zone. I’ve found out that – they come again and again to teach me the way it is. To let me know, unless I’ll overcome it, it keeps coming regularly to sit next to me and to guide me to learn life. It is now clearer as I went through these lines by Paulo Coelho –

“A warrior of light often finds that certain moments repeat themselves. He is often faced by the same problems and situations and, seeing this difficult situations return, he grows depressed, thinking that he is incapable of making any progress in life.
‘I’ve been through all this before’, he says to his heart.
‘Yes, you have been through all this before’, replies his heart. ‘But you have never been beyond it.’”

After pouring these learning into my empty cup, I may sip through life easily and steadily, but still, I want to be the same – simple, ordinary and generous.

What can you die for?

We, often, get so confused about life. We get so busy in our regular routine that we forget to build our legacy. But, what we do by not fueling our legacy is we shrink from greatness and we miss out the glorious opportunity to act on life rather allowing the life to act on us. But if we ask ourselves, what are the things that we are so busy doing that we contract the life into daily administrivia? Our answer will obviously be coming down to that - we are busy being busy, but don’t know what we’re so busy about.

But, I fiercely believe that we can start off from any moment. And the best moment is now. To explore, to live our greatness and to find out our cause which we can die for. For which we can die? Most of us frown after going through this. Isn’t it? What’s the relation between dying and living for our cause? No such. But as two strangers become friends when they are equated in same conversation and thus they both find out a friend in each of them, these two strangers (dying for and living with) also can come into relation. How? Let me clarify. If you articulate these two in following manner, ‘What can you die for?’ = ‘Living your purpose’ then I think you will find out the answer and start your journey to get to the next level of greatness. This simple but powerful idea has the power to revolutionize our life as well as the people we come in contact with. So what do you think? What can you die for? What are the things for which you can risk your life? Start searching. If you can find the right answer for yourself, I am sure you will agree with the following words of Martin Luther King Jr. – “If man hasn’t discovered that he will die for, he isn’t fit to live.”

The difference between GOOD and BEST

The difference comes from the comparison. Comparison comes from the difference of standards. Lots of people say - “Don’t compare. Because you don't need to prove that you have a better life than other people." Obviously from their view point they are true. And it's true because the perspective is between - 'you and me', 'he and she' and 'ours and yours'. But, I fiercely believe in comparison. Comparison is important every single day. My perspective? Well, my perspective is between 'you and you'. More precisely, between 'your ability and your performance'. Someone observed so well than I ever could - "We judge ourselves by what we are capable of becoming, people judge us by what we have already done." So very true. My purpose here is to invite you to compare your performance regularly with your capability. What's the pay-off? The pay-off is not big, not even bigger but the biggest. You will be able to judge and comprehend then the difference between 'good' and 'best, the distinction between 'what you can do' and 'what you are doing'.

Here, a story ushers in my mind. Not a story, rather a real life piece. Once I had to appear for an exam and I had only three months in hand. I then decided to go for some coaching. So, I met the teacher. He asked me - 'Why are you coming here?' I was very prompt in my reply - 'To clear the exam.' He listened deeply and inquired - 'What do you think, you can do it?' Nobody had ever asked me before like this. So, I was perplexed and hesitantly answered - 'I try.' Immediately he held my hand tightly and said - 'If you try, then go back, no need to come to me. But if you will, then right now do your registration. I'm here for you.'

So, this is the difference between 'good' and 'best'. Mark Twain observed so very well, when he said - "If everyone is satisfied with themselves, there would be no heroes." Then why wait? Why do you feel complacent when someone says - 'You're good at such and such.' Why not extending the limit and craving for the best? Life favours the devoted. The more you give to life, the more life sends back. So today, when you do something, fill the gap between ‘your performance’ and ‘your ability’. Then nothing can stop you to become best at whatever you do as Jerry Garcia of The Grateful Dead once said – “You do not merely want to be the best of the best. You want to be considered the only ones who do what you do.”

Find your reference points

When you ponder over your dreams, whom do you prefer to refer? When you go out in the world with all your skills and abilities, who is that person like whom you want to execute your daily deliverable? Do you have any reference points? If not, find some. By reference points I mean to say, whom you desire to act like, whom you want to live like and whom you crave to be like. Set a model. Act like him/her, feel like him/her. Be great at whatever you do. Execute your work with flawless commitment and sincerity. Always under promise and over deliver. Reach out your best. We all are of same breed, if they can be great, so do we.

But here is a cliche. We often find out some weak reference points which limit us to be great. You have to fight that urge to be ordinary. Set your reference points as high as you can. Because, the tragedy of life is not that we set too much for ourselves and miss, but we aspire too low and hit. And for every corner of your life set one or two reference points. I have the following reference points for myself -

Leadership ability - Robin Sharma.

Relationship building - Brian Tracy.

Kindness - Mother Teresa.

Persistence - Les Brown.

Achievement - Richard Branson, Steve Jobs.

Courage against adversity - Lance Armstrong.

Enthusiasm and optimism - Richard Branson.

Dedication and devotion - Bhagat Singh, Netaji Subhas Chandra Bose.

Integrity and personality - Swami Vivekananda.

Honesty - Mahatma Gandhi.


These are my reference points. Set your own and I assure you that by setting your own positive reference points you will see a new window of opportunities and you can make yourself bigger and better. So, shine. Today.

What are your side-effects?

Setting goals is just determining our direction in life. Yes, it’s true that, we cannot change our destiny overnight. But, if you so choose, we can change the way of our bow anytime. And here my urge pushes me to ask you this very question – “What are the side-effects of your new direction?” Let me be clearer. The most of us live a life of an ordinary man. We get busy in our daily routine in such a way that we forget to build our legacy for which we are truly made of. Now, if you take a decision to change your direction in your life, you have to change the course of your daily actions. These changed actions are the cause of a superb and magnificent human being. But I am talking about effect, not about the cause. Imagine yourself that you are now the dream man of your own. What are the side-effects? In which way you will do, act, and behave? What you will be daily deliverable? How do you react to the point of adversity? How do you feel about yourself then? Right now, I can see a big ‘U’-curve in your face. Yes, it’s natural. Just think, if you set a goal and feel like you’ve already achieved it and got everything you craved for, how do you feel?

Here is an action exercise. Take a crisp, white sheet. Write down your major definite purpose and for this whole day act like you have already achieved your goal. And feel the sense and behave in the same manner as your dream man should. Do it for the whole day and continue it. And if possible please let me know. I’m eager to know your side-effects. Till then live consciously. Cheers!!!

Speak Tall, That's all

Silence is a remarkable way to express your emotion to others when you need not to talk as in The Greatness Guide, Robin Sharma depicts – ‘Don’t talk, when you can nod.’ But do you think that silence is golden every time? To me, it’s not. Silence is not golden for the time –

1)When people need to know your views, opinions and judgment, even if they are not in a mood to hear them.
2)When people are saying or doing something which affects you negatively.
3)When people need to know you care.

So, for above situations you need to break your silence and speak out. It’s easy to let the conversation end by keeping yourself silent and not exercising power. ‘Power’ means ‘the ability to act or execute’. If you are not exercising your power, you are fueling your weakness. That’s why, my invitation to you is to speak out loud, when situation demands it. The problem is that, most of the time while exercising our power we overdo it. We go from being mute to being a brute. So, rather than being the extremist, we can choose to speak tall and use power words to communicate our message to others to let them get what we want them to get.

Here is a simple exercise by which you can totally transmute your life and behaviour. For the next day on, monitor your usage of words. What type of words you’re using? Do they serve your purpose? Write them down. And, now, gather all the power words you want to use and replace your daily vocabulary with those power words. Then after 3 weeks you’ll realize that you’re totally a new person. If you start off now, please let me know. I’ll love to hear it.

And what about power words?

Power words to me is your success vocabulary. The words you use on daily basis determine the way you feel. The language you choose shapes the way you perceive reality. So, how do you want to feel about yourself when you use your words? No doubt, top of the world. So, instead of calling a situation as a problem, call it opportunity, rather than referring a day as bad, prefer the day as character building day. Here are some more power words which you can use regularly to feel good and attract the success into your life -

Peace, Poise, Harmony,

Honesty, Charity, Freedom,

Guidance, Wisdom, Kindness,

Grace, Confidence, Abundance,

Vitality, Power, Serenity,

Success, Happiness, Resourcefulness,

Persistence, Purpose, Achievement,

Inspiration, Intelligence, Enthusiasm.